what anxiety looks like
We all have that cliché image in our minds of what anxiety is supposed to look like. But let me tell you—anxiety isn’t always what you expect.
It can be dressed up, polished, even distant. People might mistake it for arrogance when, in reality, you’re just trying to feel safe within yourself. It can look like the birthday boy downing three bottles of vodka, kissing ten different people, and waking up next to two strangers with no memory of the night before. It can look like working 80-hour weeks, constantly traveling, binge-eating at 2 AM because your mind won’t let you rest. It’s asking a friend to stay just a little longer, needing your partner to squeeze you tightly on the couch, texting your mother at 3 AM in a panic.
Anxiety is invisible. And those who live with it become experts at hiding the storm raging inside them. Your chest tightens, your stomach churns, breathing feels impossible—but on the outside, you build a perfect shell, convincing the world that everything is fine.
The hardest part? When the people you love—friends, family, partners—don’t understand. They think you’re being dramatic. They say, "Just take a deep breath." WORST. ADVICE. EVER. Because trust me, we’ve been trying. But that breath doesn’t come. Because in those moments, safety feels far away. And all we’re doing is desperately trying to find it again, to calm the part of ourselves that’s stuck in high alert, terrified of the unknown.
So next time, before assuming, remember—you don’t know what a red-lipsticked smile is hiding. You don’t know what that big, vibrant personality is covering up.
And sometimes, it takes ending up in the middle of nowhere—in a desert, in a van, surrounded by nothing but little piggies—to finally feel at peace. To finally feel seen. And when you feel seen, you feel safe. That was the moment I stopped hiding.
It’s not always easy. Some days are harder than others. But love, compassion, and the unwavering support of my friends changed everything.
So if you’re struggling, please know this—you are not broken. Be patient with yourself. And I hope that one day, you stop hiding. Because you are perfect exactly as you are.
Much Love,
Marine Sélénée