Many women tell me, “I don’t trust men.” Not as a belief, but as a lived experience. Their body stays guarded. Their nervous system stays alert. Even with kind, emotionally available partners, something inside remains closed.

Reconnecting to the feminine does not mean becoming passive or dependent. It means allowing ourselves to soften where we have been armored. To ask for support. To trust again — carefully, consciously. To stop living as if we must always hold the weight of the world on our shoulders.

Sometimes we are brought into the world without choosing it, and often we are kept here by the will and care of others. Our lives are held, extended, and shaped by the love and decisions of those around us.

If you look closely at your love life, you may see that at first it serves to heal your relationship with your parents. Only after that work can you truly access real love — the kind where both partners bring their baggage, but don’t expect the other to fix it. Your partner is not a substitute for a parent and cannot be the solution to wounds that began long before them.

I’ve lost count of the men and women who told me they wanted to separate or divorce but stayed for the kids. And I’ve also worked with those very kids—now adults—who grew up in homes where parents never divorced, yet filled the house with passive-aggression, emotional abuse, cheating, resentment, endless complaints.

Whatever your needs — calm, clarity, relaxation — plants can help. And the most soothing among them are often the most common ones.