Because one day, everything you thought was solid simply collapsed. The foundation you built with so much care — gone overnight. You find yourself standing at the bottom, staring at the ruins of a life you spent years building, one step at a time.

The complexity of emotions and how our bodies react to trauma or difficult challenges is fascinating. A few days ago, I had an epiphany. I work out every day because I enjoy it, and it’s also part of my well-being routine—it helps me give my best to my clients without holding onto their energies.

In Family Constellations, one of the most important practices is choosing life. Too many people live with one foot in life and one in death, often without realizing it. When that happens, it shows up as self-sabotage, fear of love, avoidance of happiness, or guilt about simply existing. Sometimes, this entanglement is connected to a miscarriage, an abortion, a suicide, or a parent who died young.

No matter how distant you may feel—whether you don’t speak often, or only see each other on rare occasions—there is an undeniable need for unity. True strength lies in knowing that, no matter what, you have each other's back. That no matter how far you’ve wandered, you can always come home—to a place that feels safe simply because it is.

When a hopeless love ends, the ache isn’t really about the person—it’s about the illusion. The dream that maybe, one day, they would choose us back. The story we told ourselves about what could be if only the timing, the courage, or the circumstances were different.

If we resist, life will eventually find a way to push us into it. Sometimes it shows up as the “dark night of the soul,” where everything that felt solid suddenly crumbles. You’re left standing there, stripped bare, wondering: Where do I even start?