love

What is Love? 

So many songs. So many essays. So many books. So many movies. So many couples. 

And, yet do we really know what Love is? 

Being in Love. Feeling Loved. 

Love is one of the biggest mysteries of being a human being. 

We all need Love. There is no way a newborn can develop healthily without Love. And what happens when Love is not part of the picture? We try to find Love somewhere else like in food, alcohol, sex, self sabotage, violence, medication, escape, drugs, and the list goes on. Whatever will make our body feel whole and complete, even for a minute, we will try for the sake of Love. 

Our first definition of Love takes place in the womb of our mother where we are protected, safe, fed and loved. After that, once birthed, that’s the Love that we will be looking for our entire life. 

And maybe that’s where our mistake lies, thinking that Love has to be found outside, while actually, it is within. 

This is why we are so scared of opening up to another human being, being vulnerable, showing up as we are because no matter what, at some point we will develop an emotional co-dependency with them. Is it wrong? No. 

Again, since our conception, linked through our umbilical cord, we learned that our survival depends on that connection. Of course after birth, that cord becomes invisible to the eyes but not to the heart. All of your tribe, your loved ones, people you cherish have that invisible umbilical cord. It’s the feeling in your gut that with that person — I am safe. 

Same thing while doing a constellation, an invisible yarn connecting all of us and slowly but surely bringing back together what was once separated. 

Love is the foundation of your true self — Loving yourself, Loving Life, Loving the present moment, Loving what you do. When your foundation with Love is solid then you add to it communication, respect, acceptance, boundaries, etcetera.

Love is a representation of who you are as a person and you can only attract the type of Love that you give to yourself first. 

Is your love: Tight? Available? Permissive? Violent? Angry? Needy? Absent? Distant? Joyful? Open? 

Now think about your past love relationships, how were/are they? Most of the time, they will be a projection of your own Love on to them. 

Distant partner? Probably distant with yourself. 

Lost partner? Probably feeling lost. 

Supportive partner? Probably supporting yourself.

Unstable partner? Probably unstable or afraid of Love. 

If you have a negative Love pattern in your current relationship, you don't necessarily need to break up, you can work on your Love pattern together. But it will only happen if both of you want to share a new core Love and do the work together. 

Same thing when you want to work on yourself. It’s discovering Love within yourself and enjoying it. Making peace with your younger selves to be fully at ease with who you are at the moment. 

Love has as many definitions as there are people on planet Earth. There is no wrong or right Love but there is a Love that makes you believe in yourself, that makes you feel secure, that does not trigger you or question your intuition or their intentions. There is a Love where you feel safe and that’s the Love I will tend to. 

What about you? 

Much Love, 
Marine Sélénée