humanity

"In an individualistic world, I urge you to choose the Collective: Family, Community, Tribe. There is only one way forward and it is through connection." Marine Sélénée 

Once upon a time, families used to be estranged from members that were homosexual, single mothers, sensitive, or handicapped. Any members that could (from their perspective) disturb the balance of the family, had to be hidden and those family members were destined to be a secret. 

Once upon a time, miscarriages were shamed, abortions were shamed and extremely risky, arranged marriages were popular, miserable wives were ungrateful and violent husbands were proud. All of those were secrets. 

Once upon a time, famous writers could write about their sexual pleasures of young boys or girls and be rewarded with more work and high acclaim, while famous actresses who were sexually abused and tried to speak out were shut down and repelled. All of those were secrets. 

Once upon a time, if you were not blonde with blue eyes, you weren't going to live. If you were muslim, you were labelled as a terrorist. If you were a powerful woman, you were labelled as bossy and maybe a lesbian. If you were a black person, you were a slave. 

Divide and rule. 

Since the dawn of time, we have had to choose a team and we must have at least one common enemy so that we can belong to a system. We have to blame someone else for our miserable lives. 

Usually it starts with our family, our first system. As an adult, we still blame our families for all of our sufferings. When we notice that our words have no more power on our parents, we move to our partner and/or children. Rather than finally facing ourselves, we choose another prey. It will be our excuse to hide and not take any responsibility for our life. 

Those are the most dangerous ones. The ones not taking any responsibility. 

Why? 

Because when you don't take any responsibility, you don't know who you are, so you don't have an identity. When you don't have an identity, it means that you don't feel seen, heard, and recognized. You cannot belong without those three ingredients, so you are going to find them somewhere else. That's where the danger is. You can find it with a guru, fanatic religion or cult, murderers, chaotic people that will share one thing in common with you, the lack of responsibility. That will be your connection. And that connection will create chaos, not because you wanted chaos, but you were willing to do anything to belong. Without any structure, any sense of who you are, you are highly susceptible to believing anything without using your brain and good sense. 

For the past few years, we have been facing more and more loss of identities, embracing new movements and preaching truths that are completely inaccurate. 

Again, we have to choose a team. We have to hate the other one and through that hate you will belong to your community. 

There is nothing more devastating and detrimental for Humanity. 

We have been dehumanizing people. We have been confusing people. We have been maintaining hate towards difference. 

In the name of what? 

Identity. 

Exhausted parents, lack of structure, teachers being snowed under, toxic social media, bad journalism, and a frantic race to be seen, whatever the cost will be. 

We won't survive by dividing. We won't celebrate Love by hating. 

At the end of the day, all of us we want the same thing, we want happiness for ourselves, our family, and our future generations. Yet, we keep screaming and screaming until, what? We feel heard, seen, and recognized.

The writer Romain Gary said it well in his book, Promise at Dawn:"With maternal love, life makes a promise at dawn that it can never hold. You are forced to eat cold food until your days end. After that, each time a woman holds you in her arms and against her chest, these are merely condolences. You always come back to yell at your mother's grave like an abandoned dog. Never again, never again, never again."

So many people are right now yelling at the wrong person in name of their pain, in name of that individualism that slowly but surely is destroying Humanity. 

We will stand up all together from all different backgrounds, cultures, religions, beliefs and genders. 

Acceptance starts with the family. Respect starts with the family. Peace starts with the family. When you exclude one member, when you keep a secret, you have a ripple effect on the world. Before screaming and yelling your rage somewhere else, start with you. 

That's how, slowly but surely, we will create a miracle for the next generations. 

Much Love, 
Marine Sélénée