good parent

What does it mean to be a good parent?

It’s when your children feel free to be selfish with their emotions and feelings. Even as adults, their emotions matter more than yours. This doesn’t mean they’re spoiled—it means you did an amazing job staying in your role as a parent without expecting your children to manage your emotions.

Children shouldn’t have to prioritize their parents' emotional well-being. They take, and parents give. I’ll share a personal example: with my mother, I’m selfish. If she doesn’t answer my call because she’s in a meeting, I get frustrated, thinking, "Come on, I’m her daughter!" On the other hand, with my father, I never behaved that way. He wasn’t an emotional support for me, and I was always more concerned with his emotions and reactions than my own. I was scared of him, and that’s when you start to parent your own parent—when you feel like they can’t hold space for your emotions.

So, if you’re still offended at 38 that your mother or father doesn’t drop everything for you, take it as a good sign. It means they’ve been there for you in the way they should.

Much Love, 
Marine Sélénée