change

“Change is frightening. The unknown is scary. But a life without change & the unknown is not a life. Taking risks, betting again, loving again, making mistakes, starting again, that's the richness of Life. Embrace aliveness. Experience it to the fullest." 

“J'y vais mais j'ai peur.” If you are French and you don't know the reference, I'm really sorry for you! It's the scene in the movie “Les bronzes font du ski” when J. Balasko is petrified of skiing but still does it.

In a nutshell, that's what Life is all about! 

I'm pretty sure when we all came into the world, that's exactly what we were thinking: "I'm scared but I'm doing it!"

We just spent nine months in a very cozy environment, where we have nothing to do but get loved, fed, and protected. The real trauma of our entire life is our birth. When we had to leave the cocoon, that tender womb, to enter the unknown, to embrace the change. 

What courage! 

Taking the risk, betting again on another life, another destiny, and not knowing at all what's going to happen and unfold.

This is bravery as it's finest. 

The first six years of our lives, we stay in that bravery mode, not being afraid of anything, not seeing our own limitations, but effortlessly believing in ourselves to the fullest. 

Why? 

It's very simple. 

The left side of our brain, the analytical one, is more dormant than the right side of our brain, the emotional one. We begin to develop the left side when we start school and we are consistently taught to think more. This is when the ego develops and our thoughts can become our worst enemies because we don't know that we just need to observe them without paying more attention to their chatty blah blah blah.

This is when we become aware of our limitations, our differences, and everything that makes us unique. This is also when our society, toxic families, heartbreaks, internal judgments make us second guess ourselves and wonder if we are really worthy of having those dreams, being that beautiful, or that smart. We start the vicious cycle of bullshit that will end up becoming our comfort zone. 

And for our entire adult life, the goal will be to get out of that comfort zone and create a new pattern.

So, basically, being an adult is having the responsibility of reconnecting with your younger self, before 6 years old, re-embracing that bravery and combining it with the new wisdom and knowledge you have experienced.

Why is it not that simple? 

Because we are conditioned. Because we have fake beliefs. Because our childhood was abusive. And daring to take that step outside of what we have always known, is scary. 

That's why therapy is so frightening. It's re-entering, re-visiting memories that we don't want to go back to. We teach ourselves to put everything that bothers us under the rug, hoping it will stay there and silent, which is the biggest lie of them all. 

It will always come back — if not through our mind, then our body. The emotions will always win because we have been treating them like our enemy. We give our power away to them by being so petrified of feeling. That's why we numb ourselves with working too much, cheating, drinking, doing drugs, scrolling on social media, etcetera. We have created so many distractions to not feel anymore that we are losing our true essence. We are the most developed mammals on planet earth and the most dangerous ones, creating chaos and more division, year after year. 

From the perspective of Family Constellations, we need to go back to the WE. And the first WE, is our family system. Making peace with our own families. Embracing the change that we are creating on behalf of our ancestors. Because a newborn is the next chance for the family system to heal, to reconcile, and that's why our ancestors do not want us to repeat the same pattern over and over again. They don't want us to suffer like they did. They want us to do better. 

That's why we recognize, we acknowledge, we bow, we consent, we accept and we move on. 

Change is the reconciliation. Change is the healing. Change is our freedom. 

By changing our thoughts, by shifting our perception towards our family, by being kinder to our younger selves, by embracing the unknown, we rise up to a new level, nourishing a better world and raising a stronger generation. 

Never doubt your importance of being alive. 

You are important. You belong. You matter. 

Much Love, 
Marine Sélénée